Chapter 23- Painful Memories
Cinyla’s POV
I don’t think it will all lead to us. I thought everything I did was okay so that he would leave my life forever but I was wrong, very wrong because if he hurts I hurt more.
I can’t imagine myself falling in love with a CEO. It’s not in my dream, I just want to love it completely but it was denied me and I thought I was the bad girl in everything because I was able to hide the truth, someone will do more than I expected and the more painful even happened was, my ex-boyfriend. l cheated on me when we are still in the relationship.
Is this the reward of destiny for me? Why is my family’s past repeating itself and is it happening to me?
I loved him but my mind telling me to stop and my heart telling me, I need more of him and trust again.
I just leaned on the bed because of what happened to me but somehow I was fine after I crashed. Every time I remember that I feel like I have no ally and I feel like I deserve it all. I don’t even know if it’s a blessing or a curse for a CEO to love me because apart from the fact that I don’t know his whole personality, I’m hurt. After all, I can’t move on with my past.
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“Vinyl?” my mother shouted. I’m still inside and trying to rest first but I think she needs me. It’s Saturday and I haven’t done anything yet, even with breakfast I have no appetite.
“Yes, mom?” I replied as I approached the door to open it for her.
The door opened and I saw her serious face but it was tinged with concern so I approached him and hugged her.
“M-mom!” My shoulders fell on both her arms, I also felt tears falling in both of my eyes.
My mom hugged me and there I felt at peace. “Why is that? Am I not allowed to be happy? “I asked her sadly.
Silence surrounds us and I looked at her and she caressed my back. I also stopped what I wanted to say and there my tears flowed.
“All right, my daughter. You just cry over all that. I don’t even see you when you’re at work and you’re busy. When you come home, I know the weight. You shouldn’t be hurt like this. It’s all my fault. I should have fought you with your dad before so that you wouldn’t get hurt like this, “she explained which was the reason for me to stop.
I looked at mommy and her aura changed. It seemed to them that I was the only one who was very depressed because of the pain I was going through, but now the wind had changed and he was the one who was swallowed up by grief and remorse.
“You know my darling, I’m confused too. Day and night I remembered our past. It was a mistake for me to just keep quiet. I know your daddy hid in a faraway place and went with his mistress but I chose to remain silent and think of the best for you, but I put everything into lies. I thought it would be better to just let them go than to make trouble. But no, I neglected you my daughter because I chose to work and give you a good life. Vinyl, my darling forgive me… Forgive me. ”
“M-mom …”
“Cinyla, you shouldn’t be hurt. I’m also not sure about BenChua because I think he’s a distant relative of your daddy but I have no doubt that he might be the only child with his mistress. ”
I was swallowed up in no time because of what I heard. I know mommy and I are going through something right now but what came out of her mouth today gave my heart a beating.
I looked at her face and there I noticed tears falling on both cheeks. “I am sorry my daughter, this is all my fault. I’m sorry … “she whispered and cried with me. Even though I can’t understand anything, I hugged her tightly, the mother who needs my sympathy. I don’t want her to blame herself too much just for all the bad things that happened and the shortcomings. I know what happened to us, and it has been very difficult since he found out that daddy went crazy and had a child with his woman.
“Cinyla … You don’t deserve this. You don’t have to go through what I went through anymore. You deserve more, especially the love you need. The right treatment of the things I know should be for you, ” she added as her tears continued to fall.
“M-mom, please, that’s enough. You don’t have to blame yourself. ”
“No one wants me to experience the same things you did before. That’s enough, mommy! ” I sighed as I stroked her back.
“Sweetie, whatever your decision is, I will support you as long as you are careful. Take care of your heart. Take care of yourself, “she reminded as she wiped away the tears with her palms.
I felt pain because I could feel her words penetrate my back. I nodded after he mentioned his reminders. After she calmed down, she smiled at me, “I am so proud of you Cinyla. I know in all the things you go through you always think about what is the best and you never lose your love for the people around you. But, do the right thing. Get some rest, I know you’re tired. ” I stood up and adjusted myself. I just nodded and gave her a forced smile.
“Thank you, mommy,” I whispered as he left my room. I stared outside my door for a few seconds and a moment listened to the silence. Thank you mommy for everything. I know your sacrifices.
I didn’t realize that my tears were already falling, they were coming because I remembered the memories that daddy left us until now. I thought to myself, I thought I accepted the events of our past but here, I still can’t accept everything because in the present I am the one who likes destiny to torture and hurt.
I bit my lower lip and I was close to the weight of what I was feeling. I don’t deserve this. Why me?
In my misery, I received a call. I didn’t even look at who the caller was but I hurried to fix myself and answered it.
“Hello?” I speak from the other line.
“I’m sorry Cinyla. I hope when we meet you can forgive me and accept the truth, “someone admitted but it was a male voice. I don’t know who he is but I guess he is an old man because his voice is a bit hoarse.
“Who is this?” I asked.
“Always be careful, take care of your heart as well, my beloved Cinyla … ”
Until the other line disappeared and there I felt weird. Not fear but eagerness to know who was called. I called it but nothing seemed to have turned off the connection so I couldn’t call him. I feel like he knows me very well and most of all he is part of my past and present.
I stood up and noticed that my window was open. I was about to close it when suddenly I could see a man standing. It was wrapped in black cloth and hurried away when I noticed him. I felt scared at those times. Opposite the table I have is a small window through which people can pass.
I just tried to forget and ignore it, maybe it’s just a wild person. I don’t want to think too much because I need to know the truth. I want to know who BenChua is. This time, I need to be wise and know him a lot. I can’t fall forever. I need to know the truth.
I fixed myself and prepared. I need to find information about him. I need to know who he is.
But my mind is trying to say something. I loved him already, but I need to take care of my heart now. I don’t want to repeat what once caused me grief for almost a few years, I don’t want to experience the things that came from my parents.