[Book 2] Chapter 128
Dawn
POVContent bel0ngs to Nôvel(D)r/a/ma.Org.
Fear. It never seems to go away. Even though logically, I know that she's gone, that Karen Deluca is dead, there's always this persistent fear inside of me that has me continually glancing over my shoulder. It's irrational. It's illogical, but my heart continues to race whenever somebody steps too close to me, or somebody stares at me a little too long for my comfort. Nightmares plague my sleep and some nights I'm plagued by insomnia, unable to close my eyes and fully relax. Amongst all of my fears, is the desire to protect Faith and those of the twins I am carrying. I have this insatiable need to protect them, from what, I don't know and I know that it's confusing lan with the way my mood seems to swing at the drop of a hat, but then pregnancy hormones aren't a whole litter of fun to deal with either.
"Have you spoken to your husband about these fears?" my mother is blunt and to the point, one of the things I generally love about her.
I glance at her tiredly, watching Faith run around outside, playing with Patches, her laughter echoing across the backyard, dark circles prominent under my eyes. My mother's eyes are filled with concern as she looks at me pointedly. "No," I said honestly "he seems to be" I paused, bowing my head slightly "busy with other matters."
Now that lan could walk, he was busy involving himself back in the family company and I hadn't wanted to intervene or hold him back with my own problems. I wanted him to continue progressing, to build up his strength, and to rebuild his interests from before. I wanted him to be the best version of himself he could be.
"Hmmm" my mother's tone was a matter of fact "You do know that he cares about you as well" she pointed out, sipping delicately at her coffee "That man is completely smitten with you and overjoyed to be having twins. I've never seen him so happy. He'll understand if you talk to him. I don't think you're giving him enough credit, trying to keep things from him."
I stared at her incredulously "But he's keeping things from me, and don't tell me he's not mother!" I protested as my mother raised her mug to her lips and took another sip, raising a brow at me "There are times he's speaking to you or his father and he automatically halts the discussion when I begin to head your way" I said indignantly "do you care to tell me what that is about?" I demanded.
My mother was calm, acting as though I was imagining things. "I don't know what you're talking about Dawn. I think you're getting paranoid" she muttered.
I snorted "Paranoid my ass Mother. He's up to something and you won't tell me what it is. I know he's keeping secrets, but I thought my mother would be the one to have my back" I said trying not to sound too upset.
My mother wasn't buying it "And if he was up to something, do you think I would break his trust by telling you? All I can say is" she paused, and put her mug down, looking at me with wide eyes that were unblinking "what he's doing right now is for both of your best interests and that you need to have some trust and faith in your husband to be."
I sighed. I gripped my coffee mug tightly in both hands. "What about you and Senior Mr. Grant?" my lips curved into a smile "Any news of the wedding date now that you are supposedly getting married?" I teased.
She laughed. The sound was like music, her eyes softening as she looked at Faith running on the grass, her skirt billowing around her in the wind, "not yet. Both of us have been married before and we aren't up to a big luxury wedding this time. We don't feel the need to rush" she said with a shrug "and there's your wedding to go first. I won't have mine until I see that yours is over and done with" she promised, her eyes twinkling.
"It's a little hard to do that when I can't pin lan down for details" I griped grumpily "he's always busy when I try."
"Men can be difficult when it comes to planning weddings," my mother said with an enigmatic smile "It doesn't faze them as much as women. You could get married in jeans and a shirt for all they cared" she harrumphed with a shake of her head in disgust. I giggled and then glanced at Faith, who had stopped to pat Patches, her hair shining golden in the sunlight. My heart melted.
"She still hasn't asked about Dexter" I whispered, as my mother glanced at me sharply "I haven't told her anything except that he's not coming back. I know it's wrong, but how do I tell her that he's dead? How do I explain that he was murdered?" I breathed, feeling sick to my stomach at the thought of the conversation I still needed to bring myself to have with my daughter "How do I break that innocence and purity she still has?"
I didn't want to change her personality, though it pained me to admit that finding out about her father being gone for good was likely to change Faith in some way, no matter how I put it to her.
My mother frowned. "She knows it's not unusual for Dexter to come and go in her life, but Dawn, you can't keep her out in the dark. She's going to ask eventually. She's getting older. I know you want to protect her, but there will come a time when you won't be able to do that anymore. She deserves to know that her father is dead at least. Save the gory details for when she's older and asks questions" she advised as I nodded tightly "but end that poor girl's turmoil on wondering when her father is next going to step back into her life. I don't think she'll take it as hard as you are imagining she is going to. Is it her feelings you're trying to protect, or are you trying to spare your own?" she pointed out wisely.
She had a point. I had procrastinated when it came to divulging Faith about Dexter's death. It was wrong, I knew that. But my daughter meant everything to me and the thought of her tears for that man, that despicable human being who had only been too willing to sign away his rights as a father, made me feel sickened. But Faith had a right to know, my mother was right. It was going to be difficult to tell her, but in the end, I was going to have to. I decided that night, that lan and I would talk to her together. Perhaps with lan present, the news might not be as harmful or as stinging. Faith adored him and she was starting to see him as a father figure. He would bring comfort to her.
"You're right," I said at last, looking my mother in the eyes as she looked at me satisfied "I'll tell her tonight."
I wasn't looking forward to the conversation but it had to be done. My mother nodded. I felt something skittering under the table and jumped backward in shock, almost shrieking as I leaped out of the chair. My mother was almost doing the same, both of us relaxing as Midnight, Knox's ferret came skittering onto one of the chairs at the outdoor table, eyeing us with his beady black eyes. I still wasn't used to the furry little creature who seemed to have the run of the house along with Patches, but my mother seemed to adore it, reaching out to pat it as it nuzzled against her hand.
"Ah, you little devil you," my mother said delightedly as Knox came wandering outside looking frazzled, my mother giggling, "I think your owner's looking for you."
Knox spotted Midnight and looked relieved. "Ah," he said, his face clearing as he wandered over, a grin on his face "I wondered where the little so and so had gone," he said, plucking the ferret off the seat and holding him in his hands "My apologies ladies." "No problem" Carina laughed "he's so cute" she gushed as Knox beamed.
"Ah yeah okay, no worries," I said, still remembering the last time I'd spotted the ferret and practically leaped onto lan's lap.
I blushed. I guess I owed the ferret in a sense. Something was gleaming in the ferret's hand and Knox frowned, gently grabbing it and examining it. He sighed. "I think this is yours," he said, as I held out my hand automatically while my mother giggled again. I frowned. "I don't think so, I've never seen this ring before," I said examining it.
It was beautiful. It was pink and white, a band with diamonds, that matched my engagement ring. Despite myself, I found myself eyeing it wistfully. I wished it was mine. Knox gave a cryptic smile "Are you sure?" he asked "Why don't you try it on? It looks like it fits around your engagement ring" he pointed out nonchalantly.
I tried it. He was right. It fits like a glove. I frowned and then pulled it off. "Strange" I murmured and then glanced at the ferret which looked smug "Do you think he took it from lan?" I asked.
Knox chuckled as lan came waltzing out, looking relaxed and at ease, his hair groomed back, his dark charcoal eyes piercing and so intense that I shivered. He was dressed in a suit and looking semi-exasperated as he glared at the ferret who looked unrepentant. "Dammnit Midnight" he growled "Must everything be hidden from you, you confounding little pest" he added with a grin. Knox chuckled and patted his little pet "he doesn't mean to, it's just so enticing" he teased, patting lan on the shoulder "I think I'll go get ready" he added, glancing at my mother meaningfully, who quickly nodded and motioned to Faith to come inside with her.
I frowned wondering what was going on. Ian smirked "Well I guess Midnight has gone and done it for me."
"Done what?" I asked blankly, still holding the ring and raising it up, my eyes meeting his "Is this mine?" I stammered in surprise.
He cupped my cheek, the softness of his palm against my cheek causing little tingles of electricity to run down my spine. "It's your wedding ring," he said softly as tears pricked the corners of my eyes "I think it's time we got married, don't you?" he whispered enticingly and I looked at him in shock, unable to believe what I had just heard.
Did he mean right now? Surely I had misheard him? I stared at him disbelieving even as his lower lip twitched and he slowly and deliberately went on one knee, causing my breath to hitch. "Dawn Evans," he said loudly and clearly, as my heart gave a flutter "I'm asking you to marry me, in that house" he pointed behind him "Right here and now, because I sure as hell can't wait any longer" he finished with determination etched on his face.