Chapter 34: Would it be too much?
“Why are you there?” Logan asked, eyes locked on the road while his fingers are casually thumping the wheels.
“I am drinking, what else is the reason why would I be in a bar?” I answered.
He heaved a sigh. “In the middle of the night? Seriously, Alice?”
“When do you expect me to go to a bar? During a sunny day? Of course, it is a bar, people go there every night, duh,” I replied again sarcastically which made him curse silently though I still heard it.
“Are you aware that Aisle is been looking for you? She’s asking me where the hell are you?!”
I chuckled. “You’re lying. I left home while you two are busy watching movies in your room. You didn’t even allow me to enter when I was about to give you your snacks, right?” there was a bitterness in my voice as I remembered how Logan locked the door when he and Aisle are busy watching in his room.
I even baked cupcakes for them yet he did that. Well, what else I should expect? I asked him to be like that again. Shouldn’t be I be happy now?
“Where is Aisle by the way? Do you leave her in the house alone?” I asked upon realizing that Aisle might be alone in the house.
He glanced at me. “Mom fetched her,” he replied curtly and then he didn’t speak again.
Thinking that he didn’t want to talk to me anymore, I just rolled my eyes as I stared outside. After a few minutes of driving, we then reached our house and as soon as I entered, I headed directly to my room and then locked it afterward. I just took a bath and then changed my clothes into pajamas before diving into my bed. And because I am still a bit tipsy, I instantly fell asleep.
Seven in the morning when I hurriedly jumped off the bed just to puke as I felt how my head is like hammering by Thor’s hammer. I stayed up in the bathroom for several minutes before I stood up and walked outside with my weakened body.
“F*ck this hangover!” I cursed while getting myself cold water. I frustratedly brushed my fingers on my hair and then pulled it to lessen the pain but it was still futile.
“That’s what you get, woman.” I jolted in place, almost dropping the glass I am holding because of the hard voice that spoke from behind. Shocked upon seeing Logan a few steps behind me, I placed down the glass on the sink and then was about to step out of the kitchen when he spoke again.
“Would it be bad if I greet you a good morning?” I slowly twirled around, my heart beating fast beneath my chest. “Well, I guess your silence means no. Good morning then, baby.” And that’s it, my heart dropped and I was standing there, unable to pick it up again. I stared surprised at Logan before he slipped a playful grin and faced his back on me.
Did he just call me, baby? No! Maybe, he only says that because he wanted to play with my feelings now that he knows what I am hiding from him.
Still confused about what I’d heard from him, I still managed to walk back into my room to do a quick shower before fetching Aisle on Logan’s Mom’s house. But when I was about to step out of the house, Logan walked beside me and towered to me making me look him up.
“Where are you going?” he asked, tugging out his keys in his pocket.
“I’m going to fetch Aisle.”
“No need.”
My brows twisted. “Why? She may be looking for me by now.”
“Mom told me that she didn’t in fact, she is having a good time with my parents. She also told me that she and Dad will bring Aisle to the farm on our province and they will stay there for two days or three,” Logan announced making my jaw drop.
“And you agreed? Why didn’t you tell me so I can come with my child?”
Logan glanced at me with a smirk before opening the garage. “Is not clear to you why they are doing this?”
“What?” I asked confused and followed him on his parked car. I am supposed to go get a uber but here I am, forgetting about it just because I am talking to him.
“Get in,” he ordered as he opened the door for me.
“Why would I?”
“Because you are my wife and I am your husband so just get your ass on my damn car and we will be going somewhere.” Still confused with a bit of doubt, I still followed him until I found myself walking on beach sand, heading towards the beach house Logan is talking about earlier.
***
I was in a room for almost an hour after Logan told me that he will just go to the market to buy some stuffed and our necessities. At first, I wanted to come with him but when I thought about distancing myself from him, I changed my mind. Duh, as if I can still get that so-called space knowing that only me and Logan are in here in this beach house.NôvelDrama.Org: text © owner.
Is he even thinking? Why does he need to bring me here with him when I already made myself clear to him last time? I told him to stay away because, in that way, I can forget him. But look what he did now? It seems like he is trapping ourselves here and for what? For what exactly f*ckibg reason?!
“I’m home.” I brought my gaze to the door where Logan is now standing. “I bought freshly baked lemon cake, want some?” But instead of answering him, I turned my back on him and intended not to talk to him. And when I heard the door close, I faced it again and breathe in relief when I found out that Logan had already left.
But after several minutes after he left the room, the door once open-giving me him, holding a tray table with foods on top of it. “Here, eat this,” he said and sat beside me.
“I am not hungry, Logan,” I refused.
His brow twitched and rested his chin on his knuckles as he stared at me. “You didn’t eat breakfast and you didn’t even eat the snacks I bought when we are our way here. Then you are now telling me you are not hungry? Eat this one and take a rest.”
“I told you, I am not hungry, okay? And why can’t you just leave me alone just like what I have asked you? You’ve been doing that for days, Logan so please, just–”
“Shut the f*ck up, Alice, and just eat this damn lemon cake I bought for you. After doing what your husband said, we will talk about your f*cking request. Are we clear?” I bit my lips before nodding unknowingly as I am staring at him. His jaw clenching, eyes are on me-shooting me with his deadly glares. And then after a couple of minutes, he stood up and walk out of the room again when he assured me that I am already eating his lemon cake.
And guess what? As soon as my tongue touches the cake, I instantly eat my words telling that I am not hungry. Who would dare to reject this delectable sweet?
It took me almost thirty minutes before finishing the cake Logan served me. And after finishing it, I stepped outside the room and bring my plates to the kitchen. I saw Logan watching television in the living room as I walked over to the kitchen. After washing my plates, I decided to go back to the room and sleep instead but just when I was about to leave the kitchen, Logan blocked my way making me frown. He stepped towards me so I stepped backward until I unintentionally sat on a chair waiting behind me. Logan smirked because of that or he is just having fun at the way how I react. He headed to the refrigerator and tugged something out of it. When he faced me again, that’s when I realized that it was a can of beer which he immediately emptied and glared at me making me gulp in uneasiness.
“You didn’t trust me, didn’t you?” he started which just doubled the lines on my forehead.
“What are you talking about…?” I trailed.
“Drop the act, Alice, I know you know what I am talking about. You f*cking didn’t trust me and choose to believe in that woman instead of asking me!” He gritted his teeth as he slammed the crumpled beer can into the marble counter. “Lyndon told me that Claire visited the office that day we have a fight. Now I know why you suddenly want everything to go back to what it was before… all because of her. All because you choose to believe on the shits of that girl!” he roared once again, summoning the hidden tears in my eyes.
“I didn’t believe in her…” I uttered silently, pulling down my eyes on my lap. “I didn’t believe in her, Logan,” I repeated.
“Then why the hell you asked me to stay gone?!”
“Because I saw it with my two eyes! I f*cking saw it on your phone and that was the reason why I told you to stay away. For Pete’s sake, Logan! You still f*cking love her! You still can’t get over with Ynez even though I am already here! Yeah, you’re right. I didn’t trust you because how can I when I already know the fact, when the reality already slapped me hard? Don’t ask for my trust, Logan, don’t. I’m tired… I’m done overthinking if I really matter to you if you genuinely care for me. Or you were just using me to get over with your past. I am not for a rebound, Logan… I didn’t want me to be one!” I cried, clenching my hands into tight balls as I stared at him with my tearful eyes.
My vision is blurred because of the tears but I still saw how sharp Logan moved towards me and quickly caged me into his arms. I first refrain myself from hugging him back but I ended up holding on to him tight, just how my heart is holding to the hope that maybe… maybe we can be together. No Ynez. Just me.
“Logan… please, I don’t want t–this p–pain…” I sob while my face is buried in his chest. He gently rubs my back and kissed my temple as I continued to cry and after gaining back, he pulled out from the hug and held my cheeks so I can look him up.
His palms caged my sticky cheeks, he stared deep into my eyes. Seems like digging something on them. “I’m sorry…” he mumbled and dried up my tears using his thumbs. “I’m sorry, baby…” and with the way, he called me that endearment, I burst out crying again.
It feels so ironic that even though I asked him to be gone, part of me also wanted to make him stay. All his hugs, his touch, every time he will be kissed me, I instantly surrendered and my brain asked for my heart to save me from upcoming pain. I know he still loves her but would it be a sin if I ask Logan to forget Ynez and poured his love into me instead? Would it be too much if I ask for his whole attention, for his whole heart? Would it be selfish if I demand his love because I am his wife even only in papers?
“Would it be too much if ask you to love me back, Logan? Would it be?”