Fifteen
Midnight lamentation
DRACUL POV
I jumped at the knock of the door, caught off guard.
I was almost never caught off guard and I cursed myself for getting so lost in my thoughts and the pleasure that I didn’t even hear the footsteps approaching my door.
I hurriedly did my belt, cleaning up my mess as best I could, I could deny entrance if I wanted to, but that would raise red flags.
And what if it was something important?
“Come in.” I said, once I was sure that I had regained most of my composure.
I adjusted my position in the chair and pushed it closer towards the desks, hiding more of myself from view.
I took a deep breath and tried to act composed. I was the lord of this castle and the ruler of this kingdom. I was composed at all times and no one got under my skin.
At least, that’s what I told myself. That’s the image I needed to present to everyone. If I didn’t, my kingdom could crumble. No weakness, no give.Ccontent © exclusive by Nô/vel(D)ra/ma.Org.
I tried to ignore the fact that I had shown a lot of weakness with Elena. I had shown more weaknesses to her than I had planned to, more than I typically indulged in. It was important to make sure that I kept focused.
I had dropped the ball and I knew it.
I didn’t get much time to brood over my failures.
Instead, the door swung open and Delan stepped in.
“What the matter?” I said curtly
Delan never come unless he had something important to discuss. He was sharp and intelligent and served as an excellent advisor. He was always calm in the face of challenges, which made him incredibly useful.
I didn’t exactly like him, per second, but I value his skills, and that was enough. He had never been anything but loyal, so I had no reason to turn him away. He was an asset to the kingdom and our race, and we needed as many as we could get.
“My Lord.” He said, bowing as he entered.
It was a low, sweeping bow and I shuddered a little. He had never lost any of the formality he had with me and it made me uncomfortable.
Yes. I wanted to be respected, even feared, but it almost felt like it was to put on with Delan.
As I said, I didn’t particularly like him, but he was loyal and steadfast and intelligent exactly what the kingdom needed.
“There was trouble in the castle tonight.” He said, his words slow and measured.
I snapped straight my attention to him. I almost got out of my seat but caught myself just in time.
“What? What kind of trouble?” I said, feeling my heart start to race.
What had happened? I had been distracted by Elena and then my own thoughts. I hadn’t been paying my attention and I cursed my slip, my weakness.?
If something serious had happened, I didn’t know how I would forgive myself for being unfocused.
“Nothing that cannot be handled.” He said slowly, “No immediate threat.”
I relaxed a little, but only a little. Just because the threat was not immediate, didn’t mean it wasn’t a valid threat that I needed to be aware of.
I was the ruler of this kingdom, I had to be on top of every threat, everything that happened, no matter what. Those were the only things in control. That was the only way to make sure we all survived.
We were doing poorly enough already. Things didn’t need to get any worse.
“Details.” I snapped.
I didn’t want it to placate me, I wanted an answer. I couldn’t make informed decisions if I didn’t know what was going on.
He shrugged, seems to consider his words carefully. That was normal for Delan.
“The princess.” He said.
I felt my heart catch on my throat.
Everything seemed to stand still as I waited for him to continue.
“She was wandering around the castle tonight .” He said, I escorted her to her room myself, but she seems agitated. He frowned and shook his head slowly.
“What she was thinking made no sense, and she blamed me for misleading you, sir.” He said, tilting his head. ” I don’t know what that could? be about ?”
I felt my heart pounding in my chest. When I had left her, I thought she could find her own way back.
Apparently, she’d been wandering the halls. That was my fault. It was my fault that she was lost in the castle. I should have taken her to her room myself, instead of fleeing like a coward.
And she’s been fine by Delan.
I swallowed, ‘No idea.” I said.
Misled? Was he talking about my action this evening? Big why would she blame Delan?
I felt sick!
Maybe because she hadn’t wanted it. Maybe I pushed her too far, pushed her to do something she didn’t want to. Maybe she thought I was Delan had encouraged it or somehow.
She must have been so confused. Who knew what was going on?
My heart twisted in my chest. I didn’t understand why, but I have the idea of her being lost and confused. I hated the idea that maybe I’d pushed her further than she wanted to go.
She hadn’t pulled away or asked me to stop. She seemed into it, but maybe be was just frightened to say no.
I felt sick at the idea.
I looked up and Delan was still looking at me.
I felt like he could see right through me. I felt like all my sin and flaws were laid bare and he was going to uncover them all. I felt my guard go up. My flaws were my burden and no one else business.
“Sir.” He promoted and I turned my thoughts back to the present.
“Did she say anything else?” I asked, leaning back to my chair.
The tick was to stay above the problem. Yes, I could act concerned, but the moment I became too invested was the moment he knew that there was more to the story.
“No, sir. She just seemed very distressed. She wasn’t making a lot of sense.”
And I felt my stomach clench, leaving me feeling skin. I hated the idea of Elena being upset. I don’t know why, but I did.
She didn’t mean anything to me. She was no one to me. So why was I feeling uneasy at the idea of her being upset, being distressed?
Why did it matter? Even if I lusted after her, that didn’t have to mean I feel anything for her further.
I could handle lust, but I didn’t know if I could handle whatever those feelings were.
Then again, maybe I wasn’t handling my lust as well as I thought either.
“Would you like me to do something for, sir?” He asked again, voice soft in the dark night, “She’s in her room, I doubled checked.”
“No , that’s all.” I answered quickly.
Somehow, I didn’t want him near Elena.
She probably just needed time anyway. This had probably been a lot for her to handle, and I couldn’t imagine being uprooted.
But I couldn’t feel sympathy. I had brought her here for a reason and I had to put my people and my kingdom first.
Even if I was starting to have a strange ache in my chest when I thought about her. Even if I was starting to question myself more and more, even though she hadn’t been here for long.
Somehow, she was turning everything on her head. Was this part of the power I heard of?
Was this why she had been brought here? I needed some answers about the coming spell work.
I shook the thought out of my head.
“Very well, sir.” He bowed, “If there is nothing else, I will take my leave.”
“Yes, very good.” I said dismissively.
I didn’t want to waste any more of my time or thoughts on him. I had to focus on the upcoming ritual and Elena.
More importantly, I needed to focus on controlling myself.
He left with another bow, leaving me alone in my dimness room. My eyes were well adjusting to the darkness, capturing every detail, and so I sat by the light of the moon and waited.
I waited for the morning to come. I waited for news that would save my people.
I waited for my thoughts to settle. I waited for the thought of Elena to leave my mind.
But she stayed, taking a root in my subconscious and eating away at my sanity until she was all I could think about.
I couldn’t just sit here anymore. I needed to act.
Resolved, I leaned back in my chair.
In the morning, I would visit her. I would straighten everything out and make sure she knew that there was nothing between us.
Then we could start the final preparation.