Surrender Your Sensations

Live happily …

Aunt Bernadeth’s words were like a broken record that kept repeating in my mind. Definitely, she didn’t stop me from pursuing what I had with Rupert. She actually said that it’s normal for me to have such a relationship because of my age. She warned me about love and getting hurt but she thought I would be happy with him.

And what’s with falling in love? Crazy. Me and Rupert were just here for sex and pleasure. There was no way we would drag things to that extent.

Right now, I could not believe I was considering Tita Bernadeth’s suggestion to actually try it.

“Ah! I’m going crazy!” I was like I was a child throwing a tantrum while thrashing on the bed, thinking how I was being too affected by that bad Rockstar.

My mind was telling me to forget everything about Rupert. But my body… myself… was telling me to do otherwise.

I laid flatly on my bed, my back pressed on the mattress and my arms and legs were spread eagle on the bed. I stared at the ceiling of my room.

Tonight was Friday night and Vulture, Rupert’s band, would perform at the bar where we first met. He invited me. Should I go?

“No. I shouldn’t go. Not when Rupert is being an asshole and didn’t even bother to say sorry,” I said to myself, following my statement with a series of nods.

That’s right. Why would I go? If he wanted me to be there, he should have called me for the past few days ever since that incident at the cafeteria.

I turned my gaze to the bedside table where the box of condoms that Aunt Bernadeth had given me was placed.

“Yeah. He’s a complete fuckboy,” I murmured before turning my body, my stomach lying flatly on the bed.

Also, I should not really disregard the threat of STD with the kind of sexual life he had.

That’s right. I was doing the right thing right now. It’s best for me to not go to that bar and meet him again.

I will forget him.

With that in mind, I immediately got up from lying down on my bed for almost an hour now. I decided to do my homeworks and papers. I have tons of it and it would surely help me get rid of Rupert in my mind.

“Just be a good student, Meredith.”

Whoever sees me now and how I talked to myself, would definitely be scared and think I was crazy.

But this was how I am for being an only child.

I started studying as I planned. I diverted all my attention to my papers and school work until my cellphone’s alarm rang. It’s eight PM already.

Time to drink my meds.

I was about to pick up my medicine bottles when my cellphone rang again. I smiled when I saw Bailey’s name on the screen.

“Hello, my dear and caring best friend!” I was excited to answer her call.

I heard her annoyed huff of breath from the other line.

| Drink your meds now, Edith. |

“Yes ma’am!” My smile widened. She never failed to remind me about drinking my medicines and to monitor the results of my check-ups. Couldn’t we all agree that I have the best best friend? “Did you just call for that?” I took one tablet for the first and second meds, which were for my iron-deficiency and for my compromised immune system, respectively. I dry-swallowed the two tablets.

| I also called to remind you I will be calling you by ten to check if you’re sleeping. Don’t stay up late, Edith. Also, your monthly executive check-up for this month is scheduled next week. |

I would be forever thankful for how Bailey took care of me. I mean, what would I be without her? I was really lucky to have her. “Thank you, Bailey.” I took the last medicine for tonight, that’s for my cancer cells to not come back. Maintaining it improved my defense system against recurrence of cancer.

| No worries, Edith. Goodnight. |

“I love you, Bailey.” Silence filled the other line. I even removed my cellphone from my ear to see if the call was still ongoing. “Are you still there, Bailey?”

I could hear her deep breathing but she didn’t answer. I guess she lost her signal?

| I lo- |

I pressed the end button to end the call. I put down my phone then fetched a glass of water. Since I was taking a lot of medicines, I had also become accustomed to dry swallowing tablets before drinking water.

After that, I returned to the essay I was writing. When I finished that essay, I next adjusted my schedule of activities for next week; debate audition, some individual and group school works and then my executive check-up. Are these all the things I have to do? Is there something else to do? Ahhh… Maybe I could insert a date with Bailey. I mean, it’s like it’s been ages since the last time I saw her.

“Gosh, Bailey. You really never break your words,” I said with a smile when I saw Bailey’s message on the screen of my phone at exactly 10 PM. She was telling me to sleep.

Although she said she would call, still, she didn’t forget to remind me. I replied to her message with a cute winking emoji followed by a simple ‘Nighty’.

I started arranging my things because it was already ten o’clock and honestly, being up late was bad for me. But what could I do? I was an effing irregular student in college with a lot of catching up to do.

I was already lying on my bed, PJs on, and done with my skin care routine, when my phone rang again. I groaned and had to reach for it from the bedside table.

My body froze and my heart automatically raced after seeing the caller’s ID.

Bad rockstar calling …

“Come on, Meredith.” My brain said to reject the call but after a few seconds of staring at the screen, my thumb had its own mind and clicked the green button, accepting his call.

Just what the heck!

| You’re not coming? |

I closed my eyes before gasping for breath. I couldn’t believe I was being this unsure because of Rupert.

“So?”

I could hear his deep breath against the phone’s speaker along with the loud background noise indicating that he’s really at the bar.

| I thought I convinced you enough. I’m waiting for you. |

I bit my bottom lip as tension on my core started to create a tight pull in my navel. His husky voice sent tingly feelings all over my body. I couldn’t really explain how I felt because of him.

Sexual attraction … Lust … Need … I’m not sure.

“What’s with this clinginess? Didn’t I tell you that what we had was just a one-time-big-time thingy? Then, how dare you to call me after what you did to me in the cafeteria-”

| I miss you. |

I was expecting a ‘sorry’ from him but… That ‘I miss you’ made my heart yelp and my body ached for his touch… And kiss.

“Stop that. Maybe you have no woman to warm your bed tonight, that’s why you thought about me,” a sarcastic voice accompanied my accusation.

| I really miss you. |

I tightened my grip on my phone before sitting up on the bed. My legs automatically pressed with each other because of that delicious feeling in between them. I was only hearing his voice and yet he was affecting me this much.

I looked again at the bedside table and stared at the box of condoms there. Heat started burning my body, intensifying the need for Rupert.

| I didn’t perform tonight because I prepared that performance for you. |

I was silent at what he said. He surely knew how to play with women’s emotions. He knew the right words to say.

| Our bassist got mad with me but I said you weren’t here so there’s no way I will perform a song without the intended audience. He hates me now, you know? | He chuckled on the other line.

Gosh. His voice was really sexy.

I think I’ll choose to live happily… with him. Enjoying his company will not do me any harm right? I am aware of what I want and my limitations. I want to have fun but I don’t want to fall in love. That’s the same shit that Rupert wants.

“Where are you?”

| At the bar counter, drinking. My band members are really irritated with me. |

Okay. I guess I will just do this.

“I can’t sleep, Rupert,” I told him, letting a deep and needy sigh expelled from my mouth.

I heard him gasp from the other line and then the loud background noise started to subside. Gradually it became quieter and I could only hear his breathing.

| I know a way to make you sleep, Meredith. What do you think of perspiring and getting tired tonight until you fall asleep? |

I got up from the bed and immediately went straight to my closet. “Meet me in your condo tonight. I miss you too.”

| Damn, Meredith. I got a hard on instantly. See you. Be safe. |

I took a deep breath along with the more intense heat consuming my body. Excitement also increased my adrenaline. I was about to drop the call when I remembered something. “Rupert?” He didn’t answer but I could hear his deep breathing. “Do you still have a c-condom in your condo?” My cheeks were burning out of embarrassment.This content © Nôv/elDr(a)m/a.Org.

| I’m not sure. Why? You want us to do it bare? I don’t mind. |

I expected him to laugh at me for my question so my mouth fell open at his serious answer to me. He’s really into this, isn’t he?

“No bared sex anymore until we settle our differences,” I replied to him then took some clothes from my closet. “I’ll just bring a c-condom. See you there.”

| I hope you know my size. And I love doing bared sex. So, let’s settle our differences. |

The call ended and I immediately changed my clothes. I brought some clothes for tomorrow and of course, I did not forget to grab that box of condoms. My mind was running wildly for the things that Rupert would do to my body. My mind was also busy thinking about the right words I would tell him to indicate my interest in this sexual relationship with him.

I needed things in this set-up to be favorable and safe for me.

Exactly at eleven PM, I reached Rupert’s condo building. I was standing in front of the elevator when someone wrapped his arm around my waist.

“Rupert …”

He leaned closer until our faces were an inch distance. I saw his boyish grin and his arm around me tightened. “Damn, you’re turning me on, already,” he whispered to me before kissing the side of my neck.

I took a deep breath and bit my lower lip to suppress the growl when I felt him suck on my skin.

“R-Rupert …” I pushed him slightly when the ‘ting’ sound of the elevator was heard and it opened.

When the three men got out of the elevator, we went inside. Rupert pushed the button of the floor for his unit. Then, he turned to me and I was not shocked when he immediately kissed me on the lips. Deep, intense and aggressive.

I felt him push me to the elevator’s steel wall and then both of his arms circled around my waist. He pushed his hardened groin on my throbbing core as his kiss got deeper. I clung to his neck at the same time as he hugged my body tightly.

“Ahhh … Rupert …” I was shocked when his kiss fell on my neck as one of his hands went inside my shirt. “Shit … Gosh!”

He groped my right breast as I felt his tongue licking my collar bone down to my cleavage. I felt one of his hands squeeze and groped my breast. I pulled him closer.

“Meredith, fuck. I want you.” Then he suddenly sucked one of my breasts on top of my shirt. The fabric became damp by his saliva as he sucked my left breast like a baby.

I could feel how wet I am and how hard my nipples are. Shit. Rupert can really drive me crazy.

‘Ting!’

“R-Rupert, W-Wait … Ahhhh … S-Stop!” I had to push him hard when I felt the elevator stopped and later on opened. I breathed a sigh of relief that no one was waiting on that floor.

Rupert, on the other hand, took my hand and pulled me to exit the elevator. We both heaved deep breaths as we walked fast towards his room.

“How many condoms did you bring?” He held my hand tightly as he dragged me toward his unit.

“W-Why?” I struggled covering my chest with my one hand as I picked up with his pace.

“I hope that’s enough for me. I don’t think I can let you rest tonight, Meredith.” He hurriedly picked up the key card of his unit when we reached it.

“Rupert!”

He lifted me up from the floor the moment the door of his unit opened. He carried me while kissing my neck.

My legs and arms around him.

“I’ll have you again and again, Meredith.”

“Ah!”

Then, it’s good that I brought a box of condoms.