PREGNANT AFTER ONE NIGHT STAND

This is already my second day in the hospital. Dona and Naomi take turns taking care of me, even though I don’t want to trouble them. I feel guilty if one of them has to stay overnight to look after me. Although my headache is subsiding, the nausea keeps coming and going. The doctor said it’s normal for the first trimester of my pregnancy.

Talking about being pregnant makes me more determined. I feel a bit tired and I’m being taken care of. I feel a little nauseous, with an endless headache, and everything I eat comes out without exception. My activities are limited, and on top of that, the doctor says I have to do this and that. I feel exhausted.

“Don’t space out, Anya.” Naomi breaks my reverie. She came straight to the hospital after work this evening and stayed in my hospital room. She said Cedric wanted to visit, but I refused. Allowing Cedric to visit would be like allowing him to get closer to me. My mind wanders in all directions. What if I let him visit? He might not just leave me a note; he might be waiting for me at the elevator to go home together. It’s possible, right? No, no. I don’t want to think about that possibility.

“I’m not spacing out, by the way.”

Naomi just chuckles. “The doctor said you can go home tomorrow afternoon.”

“Can I go back to work right away?”

Naomi playfully flicks my forehead, causing me to wince in pain. She never plays around when it comes to hurting me. “Think about your baby, Anya.”

I sigh softly while rubbing the spot where she flicked me. I’m sure my forehead is red. “If the doctor says I can go home, then I’m fine, Naomi.”

Naomi stands up, ignoring me. I don’t try to stop her; maybe she needs some fresh air. I wasn’t talking about trivial matters anyway. I can’t rest for too long. I’m used to having a full schedule with meetings and agendas, always following Krystal around.

I feel guilty when, in the last few days, Krystal always added, “Don’t forget to rest, Anya,” at the end of her messages. After that, my boss didn’t bother me again. She didn’t call or message me about things she didn’t know. My days are truly filled with rest and regular meals, while occasionally checking Krystal’s schedule. At least when I return to the office, I won’t fall behind much. During my hospital stay, my mind never stops thinking about how to face Krystal, who already knows I’m pregnant. And I’m not thrilled about living the days with this unwanted fetus.

It’s not a matter of not wanting to get pregnant and then exposing myself to just anyone. No, I’ve given it a lot of thought, about how this child’s life will be in the future. I still doubt if Cedric can take responsibility. It’s highly doubtful, especially when it comes to money.

If I work too hard, it could affect my baby. There are many activities beyond my control that don’t seem to consider that I’m in early pregnancy. The doctor also said yesterday that being too tired could be dangerous for this young fetus. So the possibility of miscarriage due to extreme fatigue is significant.ConTEent bel0ngs to Nôv(e)lD/rama(.)Org .

Am I just tired?

***

“Why does he have to be here?” I’m angry. How can I not be? Naomi and Dona seem to be conspiring. They must have planned this. I’m 100% certain it’s true and valid.

“I have to take care of Dad, Anya.”

Whenever Naomi uses that excuse, it shuts me up. Then I look at Dona, who’s showing a annoying grin. It’s useless to get angry, it seems.

“Sorry, I have a date. Just today. Tomorrow, we’ll accompany you again, okay, Anya?”

I pout. Naomi and Dona are still visiting me during lunch. They make sure I eat everything available, along with my medication and vitamins. I just follow their instructions; I’m too lazy to listen to their nagging. My plan is firm and it’s not something I can execute now. It’s impossible.

They don’t say anything about who will take care of me tonight. Then, out of the blue, when they leave, Cedric joins in. To make things worse, he acts as if nothing’s wrong when he faces me.

It seems like my strength to argue disappears. So, I let them do whatever they want. Especially Cedric. Naomi and Dona don’t stay for long and I ignore them. I want them to know that I’m angry. Damn Dona even says, “Geez, don’t sulk like that, Anya. It’s unattractive.”

It’s better to continue reading the novel rather than speak to Cedric. Ignoring his presence is the best thing I can do. From the corner of my eye, I observe him take off his jacket, revealing a more casual black shirt paired with slightly loose jeans. Cedric then sits next to me without doing anything inappropriate, like he did when he first started taking care of me.

“Is there anything else you need?”

I put down the book and look at him. His black eyes stare at me warmly, making me feel nervous. I start getting flustered on my own. I roll my eyes as a response to his question.

He nods. “Okay then, may I sleep? I’m really tired.”

“If you’re tired, just go home. I don’t need your company,” I say sternly. He acts like it’s such a burden to take care of me. I never asked for it.

He smiles instead. “No matter how tired I am, if I have to take care of Mrs. Anya, the tiredness goes away.”

“Then why did you say you were tired earlier?” I still don’t want to be soft when talking to Cedric.

“When I talk to you, the tiredness disappears.”

Damn it!!!

I remain silent for a while, allowing Cedric to lay down on the carpet that Naomi brought. I see him close his eyes. Is he asleep? Watching his chest rise and fall, it seems like his breathing is regular, and I assume Cedric has flown into dreamland.

From where I’m lying, I’m actually quite satisfied watching Cedric with his eyes closed. Trying to divert my gaze elsewhere is useless. My eyes are completely betraying me. Occasionally, I glance at Cedric. Since he’s asleep, he won’t know that I’m watching him.

I still remember when he was on top of me. Occasionally, his forehead furrowed with sweat dampening his front hair. His black eyes truly mesmerized me, as did his hoarse and slightly heavy voice.

“Call my name, Anya.”

At first, my lips just sighed and occasionally let out small screams, but once Cedric’s voice filled my mind, I complied.

“Touch me, Cedric. More…”

Damn it! Why do I have to remember that! I quickly reached for the book next to me, but unfortunately, it fell. It made quite a noise in this quiet hospital room, as well as Cedric.

“Ms. Anya? What’s wrong?”

“Wherever you want, Anya.”

I closed my eyes for a moment. “Everywhere, Cedric. It’s up to you.”

“With pleasure.”

What’s going on in my mind right now? “Oh, it’s nothing. My book fell.”

He gave a small smile and picked up the fallen book. “It’s late. You’d better get some sleep.”

I just cleared my throat softly.

“Get plenty of rest so you can recover quickly. Or do you want some snacks? Naomi left some fruits on the shelf. Want any?”

“An apple.” I deeply regretted saying that, but for some reason, I really wanted an apple. Everything feels so spontaneous. What’s wrong with me?!

“Just a moment.”

With agility, he fetched two apples and carefully peeled them because I don’t like apples with the skin on. I protested when he cut them into pieces with the skin on. When he handed me the sliced fruit, it felt amazing, like my stomach was being comforted by the apple… peeled by Cedric.

Damn it! Damn it! Damn it!

“Anya,” he called.

My chewing motion slowed down. “What?”

“May I touch your belly? Just for a moment.”

***