My Love for You Broke Me

Chapter 243

The sun in Bryxton felt warm against one's skin, and the way sunlight landed on the man's face enhanced his sharp features. He was someone who used to bring joy to my heart, but the words that he uttered seemed only to hurt me more than ever. "That's none of your business," I uttered after heaving a long sigh.

Nicholas' deep laugh came from the phone. "We haven't met for six months, Renee. I've been receiving treatment in America this whole time, and I'm only back in the country now that I've gotten my disorder under control. Have you missed me?" Alice was the one who was responsible for Nicholas' mental instability. I knew that he had been battling his other personality for a while, and deep down, I knew that I couldn't blame his healthy self for the things that his other personality had done.

I could comprehend this rationally, but I simply couldn't bring myself to forgive him. I knew that I could never lower my guard when I was with him. "Ah. Congratulations," I muttered half-heartedly. From the spot I was standing, I could see the warm smile on Nicholas' face. He had a boy-next-door look that made him seem especially approachable. "Can I come in to see you?" He was pushing his boundaries.

There was a hint of caution in his voice, and I felt an ache in my chest when I noticed it. This was a man I used to love, after all. I once thought that we'd be together forever. I even sacrificed my life for him. The love I had for him was one that others would be envious of. How did we come to this point? I guess we didn't have much of a choice—he lost me because he was forced to go the other way. He wanted to save me, yet I ended up leaving him without giving him another chance.

I sighed as I tried my best to contain the exasperation I felt toward the world.

"I'm leaving for Eldham later, Nicholas," I said as I called him by his name to tell him that I had forgiven him for all that he had done in the past. In some ways, I was letting go of my past self as well. I treated this as closure for my love for him.

When he heard me speaking and calling his name in a calm and peaceful tone, he let out his deep laugh once more. He sounded rather happy. "Thank you, Renee." He understood what I meant.

"Alright. I'm hanging up," I said.

"Wait. Renee," he called out in a hurry.

"Yeah?" I tightened my grip on the phone.

"Have you ever loved me?" he asked in a soft voice. Until now, he still couldn't believe that I was in love with Shawn. No—I had already parted ways with Shawn! "I did love you once. That's it," I replied. I used to love him, but not anymore. NôvelDrama.Org (C) content.

After ending the call, I ordered Joseph to prepare the car for my trip back to town. I didn't have plans to return to Eldham—I simply wanted to get Nicholas to leave. Once I got to town, Anthony brought me the two rings that belonged to the Xenos Family. I was about to put them on when I noticed the engagement ring on my middle finger. This was the ring that Shawn had put on for me. He hadn't proposed to me, but simply put the ring on my finger. Yet, I was elated when he first did that for me.

"Throw it away," I told Anthony as I removed the ring. Anthony was stunned for a moment. "But… Miss, this is…"

"Throw it away," I said again. I didn't see a point in keeping items from the past. After Anthony took the ring, he handed me a book. "This is a book that Mr. Xenos left in the villa in Brimstone Mountain. Mr. Charles told me to pass it to you as he thought that you should take a look at it," Anthony explained.

I glanced at the title of the book that Anthony had passed to me. 'The Watcher in the Paddy Field' was the name of the book. It looked rather worn and torn. I flipped the first page open to find Shawn's smooth and elegant signature with the date written below it. It was dated at the start of the century, which meant that Shawn already owned this book when he was still a teen. There was a bookmark in the middle of the book, but I didn't continue going through the book. "Keep it," I uttered as I threw it back to Joseph.

I didn't know why Charles gave me the book, but I figured that I would skim through it someday since he thought that I should read it.

Joseph accompanied me to Felix's Villa. Mom, Dad, and Leon were all there—Mom told me that Leon was back for the new year celebrations. Leon had finally come to terms with the idea that he belonged here.

My dad was shocked to see me home. "What brought you to Bryxton? Your 25th birthday is in three days, and it's going to be on Christmas Eve. What are your plans? Will Shawn be celebrating your birthday with you?"

Shawn was the future son-in-law in my parents' eyes—they had already deemed Shawn as my husband-to-be. So, they expected Shawn to put effort into everything that had to do with me. My heart ached when I recalled how cruel Shawn had been that day, and my stomach started hurting at the thought of what had happened. "Yeah. We're planning to spend Christmas in Finland, so we won't be able to celebrate with you guys," I lied.

I didn't want my parents to find out about what happened between Shawn and me during Christmas—I wanted them to be able to have a peaceful celebration. "Will you be coming after the New Year?" my mom asked. I knew that my mother would be worried if I didn't come home after the new year celebrations, but Shawn… I had no way of bringing my mother's future son-in-law over. I knew that my mom would be more worried if she saw me alone.

"I've been really busy recently. There's a lot to do at Xenos Family, so I'll only come back after I'm done with all my work," I lied again. Leon, who had been sitting on the couch, interrupted our conversation. "When are you getting married? I need to plan out my finances so that I can chip in for your wedding gift!"

My parents shifted their gazes to me right after Leon posed this question. "Next year, maybe. We'll have to see if we have any free time. Shawn's busy too." I tried my best to contain the situation. After I answered all the hard questions, my parents finally let me go. I heaved a sigh of relief as I slumped down beside Leon. "How have you been?" I asked him.

"The usual," he replied flatly. His 'usual' also meant that he wasn't doing great. I didn't ask him about Francesca, but I handed him a check. "This is meant for Mom and Dad, but I want you to pass it to them only after I've left," I explained. Leon nodded. The pain in my stomach was increasingly unbearable, and I knew I couldn't stay for long, so I hurried to my feet and bid goodbye to my parents in the kitchen. "I have to go now—I have some urgent matters to attend to," I told them with a forced smile.

"What's the rush? You're not even staying for a meal. At least have some food before you leave," my mom said in a caring tone. "It's work-related stuff. I have to go now. I'll come to visit after the new year, Mom." I tried my best not to reveal the pain I felt as I spoke. After that, I hurried out of the house. My

body gave up on me just before I got in the car, and Joseph had to hold me so that I wouldn't fall.

"Help me in," I gasped. I didn't want my parents to see me like this. I had always been one to deal with my matters. Joseph helped me into the car, and I urged him to give me painkillers. It took a while for the medication to have an effect. "The pain was so bad. I felt like I was about to die," I joked as I wiped the sweat off my forehead.

Anthony mentioned that my uterus had been slightly damaged after Shawn kicked me in the stomach. I knew that he hadn't done it intentionally—he didn't know that it was me when we were in the fighting arena. However, he was the one who stabbed me.

I glanced at the book that Anthony had handed me earlier. When I took the bookmark out, I froze for a second. There were words written on the bookmark. 'I have never loved anyone in the past. You're the first person I've ever loved. I'm afraid that I might not do a good job, and I'm afraid that the love I have might disappoint you', it wrote.