My Love for You Broke Me

Chapter 198

Chapter 198

I had a dream. In the dream, my two little babies were crawling here and there on the floor as they hadn't learned how to walk, whereas sitting on the couch was the man that I loved. We seemed like a happy family.

"Miss Felix, wake up…"

I heard someone calling my name and I opened my eyes, only to see an anxious-looking doctor. I heaved a heavy breath before asking, "Where are my babies?"

While the doctor didn't utter a word, the nurse comforted me, "We're still stitching the wound. You can see them after this."

Upon hearing that, my mind was put at ease and I grinned ear to ear as I couldn't wait to see them. After closing up the wound, they moved me to a VIP patient room. Right then, Francesca sprinted her way into the room and grasped my hands tightly with teary eyes.

As tears were brimming her eyes like she was going to cry out loud, I held her hand back and smiled in reply. "Are they cute?"

"Yes. They're the most adorable children I've ever met."

I was elated by her answer. "Are they girls or boys?"

Tears had finally escaped her eyes as she said, "It's a baby boy and a baby girl."

"Miss Gant, why the long face?" I shut my tired eyes as merriment filled my heart to the brim. "I'm so tired. The doctor said that I mustn't move yet, but the babies can't leave the sterile room either. I've decided to go see them after a nap."

Then, I drifted into dreamland again. There was no sight of the two babies and standing a few meters away from me was that cold man. The memories of getting hurt twice in Finland just to find him had forbidden me from getting closer to him. But he was calling for me, "Ray."

I shook my head as I didn't take a step forward. I was terrified and afraid to get anywhere close to him.

"Ray, where are the kids?" he inquired while gazing at me with those frosty eyes.

Almost immediately, my eyes shot open and I saw Francesca holding onto my hand. It took me a while to catch my breath.

"Did you dream of something?" she asked in concern. I couldn't help but notice the sadness in her voice.

I took a moment for myself before questioning, "Where are my babies?"

She hesitated for a second. "They're sleeping."

My racing heart calmed down when I heard that. "I wanna see them."

The tears in her eyes finally coursed down her cheeks. "Miss Felix."

I asked patiently, "What's wrong?"

"They're sleeping in the morgue. They're gone."

I propped up at the drop of a hat but she asked Joseph to stop me. However, I was deranged by the dreadful truth. "Let me go!"

He didn't budge and I continued screaming, "Get outta my way!"

Then, he let me go because of my domineering disposition. I ran outside and asked a nurse where the morgue was. Upon entering the chilly room, I suddenly feel calm and let out a smile before asking the nurse on duty, "Are the babies still asleep?"

"They…" The nurse paused before pointing at their location.

I headed over, only to see two pale figures. Judging from their little frames, they seemed to weigh about three to four pounds. Carefully, I held them in my arms before cooing, "Hello there. Mommy's here."

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They didn't respond, not even a cry. With a smile, I hugged them as I sat on the floor. "Hmm… What should I name the two of you? I don't want you guys to take after your father's surname anymore. Why not have my surname? Let's be part of the Xenos Family together!"

Feeling their cold bodies in my embrace, I burst into tears. "You guys left me, didn't you? Is it because I'm a bad mommy?"

It was an inexorable truth beyond recall. No matter how much I deny reality, the temperature I felt in my arms kept reminding me that I had to face it regardless. They were indeed in a different world than I was.

I tightened my arms around my babies as I cried my heart out in despair. Francesca came and crouched next to me before soothing, "Miss Felix, don't be sad. Look, they're sleeping. Why don't you take a rest in your room first? Your wound is opening up and there's blood everywhere."

I didn't respond to her as the anguish engulfed me. In addition to the ten-month-long meticulous care, I even broke up with Shawn. Yet, this was the ending that had dawned upon me—they were gone.

Feeling lost, I murmured, "What am I supposed to do now?"

How was I supposed to live on when I had lost hope to stay alive?

Francesca felt her nose sour when she heard that. "Miss Felix, you still have a long way ahead of you and they will always look after you up there. Everything will be alright."

Even so, I wailed in devastation and I was reluctant to let my babies go. In the end, I fell into a swoon and they carried me back to my room. Three days had passed when I finally regained consciousness. Joseph informed me that Anthony had the babies buried at the cemetery of the Xenos Family.

I looked at him in a daze. "I had babies?"

The clever man switched up his answer immediately, "No, Miss."

Yeah, that's right. I didn't have any babies to begin with.

After that, I shut my eyes. "Let's return to Eldham."

As soon as he left, I stood up and gazed out of the window. Everything was enchantingly beautiful at that moment under the beaming light of the setting sun; too bad the evening was falling too fast.

It's so beautiful. Too bad it's getting dark soon.

I smiled faintly as I talked to myself in my mind.

Goodbye, my babies. Just the thought of you both can throw me into despair readily. So, I'll have to refrain from thinking of you guys.

Thanks to Joseph, who had always been a conscientious employee, I could discharge from the hospital and depart soon. Before returning to Eldham, I decided not to bid Francesca farewell because I was afraid to see Tamara. She could easily remind me of my two babies. My children were Leos who was born in August and had no names even before they left the world.

In Eldham, I had been staying at the apartment. When the wound had healed after two months of recovery, I went to get a tattoo to cover the scar with the lisianthus flowers. The puny yet delicate petals bloomed in layers, shrouding the scar beneath it.

For the past two months after my babies left, I had shut myself away from people in the apartment. My parents, Olivia, Christopher, and other acquaintances texted me about my children, by which I replied

with the same message that read, 'They're gone.'

They were gone, and so was my soul.

Sitting before the French window, I stared at the pouring rain before receiving a call from Emma. After hesitating for a moment, I didn't accept the call in the end. Then, she messaged me, 'Need a drink?'

She's inviting me for a drink when she can't even have more than one glass? Wait a second! She's actually inviting me for a drink?

I replied, 'You're in the country?'

'Yeah. Shawn managed to secure his influence in Europe and everything's back to its rightful place. Now, all he needs is a comeback in the country.'

Finally, he's back after eight months. That's quicker than expected. But, so what?

Instead of replying to Emma, I messaged Olivia as I suddenly remembered her business trip to Eldham. She responded after a while, 'Renee, what's the occasion?'

With an indifferent face, I texted back, 'Wanna come out for a drink?'

Everything was penting up in me and alcohol might help.

'Sure. Where are you? I'll go to you.'