Chapter 36. I WANT TO KISS YOU AGAIN
Amber also stood where she was, watching him silently. Time passed by quickly; after their most recent reunion, she constantly felt like he had changed greatly. But after she looked at him more carefully, he actually hadn’t changed all that much; he was still that youth with a slight tinge of silliness, someone who would drop everything and rush over in a heartbeat.
Almost as if he could sense her gaze, Calvin suddenly turned his head around and noticed her standing behind him. After the glimmer of recognition passed, his face slowly morphed into a smile.
Even though he wasn’t as handsome as Ian when he smiled, anyone who looked at him would feel his golden sunshine-like smile wash over them, making them feel warm and happy.
He walked over, a few minor hints of anxiety on his face. “Did you wait long?”
“No, I just got down.”
“About that, Trysta and the others left early, and so did my mom. Although she won’t be able to have dinner with you tonight, she said that next time, she will definitely catch up with you.”
Perhaps Calvin himself didn’t notice this habit of his-whenever he was nervous or trying to lie, he talked an abnormal amount.
Amber smiled. “Okay.”
Calvin became even more flustered from her simple response. His current behavior no longer reflected his calm demeanor that day at Trysta’s wedding. Right now, he actually gave Amber feel a sense of comfortable familiarity.
As a youth, Calvin and his family hadn’t been too well off. He had no father and lived alone with his mother. The mother and son pair lived quite a frugal life. The food at the school’s cafeteria wasn’t great, so all of the students there had brought their own lunches to school, and ate bits and pieces of everyone else’s food.
Calvin was the only student that never brought food from home; during lunch, he would always stand silently to one side. Amber brought her own food several times, but she stopped once she noticed his situation. After all, it was more fun to be thick-skinned and steal food from Silvia and share it with Calvin.
In the end, Calvin was able to gat her lots of food even without Amber’s help, because he had a habit of speaking whenever he received food, which would make Silvia laugh. She had once said to Amber that if giving Calvin food could make him, her idol, speak a few more words to her, then she would gladly do it.
Because of this, when Calvin started bringing his own food, his lunch box disappeared after just a few days.
Now, many years later, while he was sitting down with Amber and recounting the old times while having a meal together, Calvin asked her, “Back then, were you the one who incited Silvia to take my lunch box away?”
Amber innocently replied, “No.”
He didn’t believe her, and looked at her suspiciously with squinting eyes. Amber laughed at the image, and then honestly said, “It’s true. Silvia really likes you.”
Calvin’s face blushed slightly. Barely glancing at her now, he shyly asked, “Then what about you?”
“What?”
“Do you really like your boyfriend?”
Could she really say that he had improved compared to before? He hadn’t been able to bear his curiosity any longer and had ended up asking her after all. Back then, a similar situation had occurred; while they were studying, a male classmate had, of his own accord, announced that Amber was his girlfriend. Calvin didn’t even check with her regarding the truth of his words; when he saw the two of them walking together, he’d automatically assumed that they were indeed in a relationship. From that point on wards, he had started slowly drifting away from her.
“If I said that he wasn’t my boyfriend, would you believe me?”
Calvin hesitated for a moment before replying, “Yes.”Copyright Nôv/el/Dra/ma.Org.
But Amber knew that he didn’t actually believe her, and she could understand that; after all, even an ordinary couple wouldn’t just kiss left and right so cavalierly … but she also couldn’t explain this situation because of doctor-patient confidentiality.
She looked him right in the eye. “You don’t have to force yourself to believe me. Honestly, if I were you, I probably wouldn’t believe myself either.”
Calvin’s expression became agonizing. “Ah, you’ve seen through me … but the thought that someone loves and is protecting you isn’t bad, either.”
Amber smiled lightly, an unfathomable emotion wrapping around her heart.
It tasted of some disappointment, probably, and a dusting of sadness. Whether in the pastor in the present, it seemed like he still couldn’t take that final step.
This was why she thought that love was actually like being trapped in an illusion; crazy people would go even crazier, but it could also make logical people even more logical.
After thinking about it, she didn’t want his misunderstanding to grow any deeper. ‘Unfortunately, I’ll be disappointing everyone because Ian and I really aren’t a couple. At the very least, our feelings haven’t reached that level. From my perspective, he’s just using me as a shield; one day, sooner or later, I’ll become useless to him and be set free.’
These were Amber’s actual thoughts. She didn’t expect that Ian had started to fall for her. To her, something like love at first sight couldn’t possibly exist for a man like him. So, she believed that just like how she was treating him as a patient to be observed, the converse, him treating her as an object of observation, was also very likely to be true.
Naturally, he was observing if she could, if she would help him.
Calvin got to the heart of what she was saying. “Freedom, you said? Did he do something that made you feel like you were not free?”
Amber couldn’t help but admire his sharpness. “Of all that I said, that word is the one that you paid the most attention to?”
Calvin laughed. Clearly, this time, his smile was tinged with genuine mirth. “I-”
He could only get one word out before Amber’s phone suddenly rang. Her phone was placed on the table, so when Ian’s name appeared on the screen, both of them could see it.
Calvin’s remaining words were like a burr in his throat. Amber caressed her forehead in annoyance. “I’m sorry. Let me take this call.”
She quickly picked up the phone, as calm as ever.
Ian was as direct as ever. “Where are you?”
Amber lifted up her cup and was about to drink some water. “Is something up?”
“I need to see you.” His inflection was surprisingly severe.
Amber instantly became more serious, thoughts flitting across her mind. Did something worse happen to Elly, or did her father get into some sort of accident after rushing out like that today? Or, did Ian’s condition worsen? He’d even ignored his germophobia to kiss her today, after all.
She sat straight up and gave him her location. “Are you coming over now? What happened?”
And then Ian’s words made her realize that she should’ve stopped over complicating things.
“Yes, I want to kiss you again.”
“….”