Inevitably Yours

MICHAELAll text © NôvelD(r)a'ma.Org.

She wouldn’t look up at me. Mom’s eyes were fixed on the birth certificate in front of her, and she refused to meet my gaze. The tension was palpable, and Eros was restless within me. I didn’t know what to feel. From her expression and lack of denial, I could tell that I’d caught her in this lie, but ultimately, what did that mean for me? What did it mean for our family? Disgust at being lied to, relief that the monster I’d feared my whole life wasn’t really my father, and a nagging wonder if I actually belonged anywhere now were all fighting for precedence within me. Burning the rest of the conflicting emotions to ash, rage won for the moment.

“Answer me!” I shouted, only lowering my voice when I realized Tyler would hear me.

“Michael, you don’t understand,” she whispered, her voice wavering as tears streaked down her face. They dotted the worn paper like raindrops.

I knew this would be hard, but seeing her breaking down quenched some of the fiery feelings, and now I was sick to my stomach. I wanted to run; I also wanted to break things. Who was this guy? As much as I hated Lawrence, he was here. Did my father abandon me?

“No, I don’t understand,” I settled on, still trying to put into words what had been simmering inside me since Daniel let the secret slip. “It’s hard to accept something you’ve lied to me about my whole life.”

“How did you even find this?” she asked, looking up at me for the first time. “Why were you looking?”

“Is that really what’s important right now?” I asked in exasperation. How could she miss the point so overwhelmingly?

“No,” she surrendered. She looked older. I watched her deflate, and I could see the years of meticulously putting on a brave face for us crumble. The lines in her face deepened, and she looked tired and broken. Even when Lawrence was at his worst, she rarely showed us weakness. I’d seen her cry, but it was rare. “What do you want to know?”

“I want to know why it seems everyone but me knows what’s going on,” I snapped. I couldn’t help it. I was trying to tone it down now that I could see her so weak in front of me, but I was a powder keg that had already been lit. “I want to know why Daniel told me like this was common knowledge, and I’m almost of age with no idea who the hell I am!” I started pacing in front of her desk as I fired question after question at her.

“It’s complicated….”

“What’s complicated about it? I’m either the son of the Alpha or the son of some random dude named Melvin. Which is it?”

She turned away to look out the window and didn’t say anything for what felt like an eternity.

“Make her talk,” Eros growled, done with theatrics and not caring about whatever she was struggling with.

“Give her time to think.”

“She’s just going to lie to us again,” he grumbled.

“He’s not your father,” Mom said, still turned away. “Lawrence, I mean. You’re not the Alpha’s son.”

“Then why-”

“I was trying to protect you, Michael. I just wanted you to live a happy life and grow up normally. I know things haven’t always been easy, but….”

“A happy life?” I asked; I clearly hadn’t heard that right. “You think living with him has been happy?” My b***d was pumping, and I could feel the adrenaline threatening to spill over. I could not explode here. I would not be like Lawrence, not to my mom. She dealt with it from him enough.

“I didn’t say that I was successful. I was just trying to give you something that resembled normal. You’re almost of age, and I was hoping you’d want to leave and go to school or literally anywhere else to explore life away from here.”

“So, you never intended for me to be Alpha?” I knew this had to be true, but after training for the role my entire life, what else could I do? It was part of my identity; I’m the Alpha’s son, the next Alpha. Without that, who am I?

“He was going to tell you,” she answered. “He was never going to let you become Alpha, but unless he wanted to explain that to the pack, he had to act like everything was normal. When you came of age… He told me I had to let him tell you.”

“Why would you listen?” I hissed through gritted teeth. “He’s not even my father!”

“He’s the one who raised you, Michael. You don’t know what I’ve gone through to get to where we are now. I just-”

“Then tell me! How am I supposed to know if you keep talking around it like some cryptic riddle? Just say it! Say the words.”

A soft knock interrupted us. Mom’s eyes darted towards the door, and I could smell the fear. I knew it wasn’t Lawrence, though; he’d never knock. I strode over heavily to the door and ripped it open to find my brother standing there, concern washing over his face. I didn’t make a habit of frightening my little brother when Lawrence tormented us enough, but I couldn’t mask the tsunami raging within me.

“Is everything okay?” he asked, looking between our mother and me. When I looked back at her, she’d already wiped her face and put her usual motherly demeanor back together. It was creepy how quickly she could do that. She looked like an entirely different person.

“We’re fine, dear,” she lied with a soft smile. “I’ll be out when we’re finished talking. Michael isn’t happy about his schedule this year, and we’re talking it through to see if I can get a counselor to fix it.”

He didn’t look convinced, but as he looked between us, I didn’t object. This room wasn’t as soundproofed as our bedrooms, but it still had acoustic dampening walls. The Luna retained a modicum of privacy, but it could also be heard if she was in trouble. Tyler wouldn’t have heard anything specific, just muffled tones as I raised my voice.

I was trying to process how easily that lie came to her. We weren’t even talking about school. Could I believe anything she would tell me now that I’d confronted her? What if she just told me a different lie to appease me?

“I’m going to watch a movie then,” he declared. “I’m hungry, though.”

“I’ll be out to make lunch shortly,” she cooed. “Go ahead and start the movie, and I’ll come watch it with you after I get lunch made.”

He gave us a side-eye but left without complaint. I closed the door firmly and turned back to my mother, who I wasn’t sure I knew anymore.

“Are you even my mom?”

“Oh, don’t be ridiculous,” she said dismissively. Now that she’d put herself back together, there was no sign of the broken woman I was talking to a moment ago. “You saw the birth certificate. I’m on it as your mother, and, besides, who could mistake you as someone else’s?”

“You’ve lied to me about who I am every day of my life, and the only proof I have of it is a barely legible birth certificate. I don’t think it’s ridiculous to ask,” I spat in return.

“Why didn’t you just come to me when Daniel told you?” she asked placidly. “You didn’t have to sneak around.”

“How else could I make sure you would tell me the truth? I wanted the evidence first.” She didn’t have a response, but that just confirmed to me that I was right. She would have tried to spin this to keep me from discovering that her perfectly crafted little world was all bullshit. “Who is he, Mom?”

“He was the Alpha of this pack and my fated mate,” she answered with a sigh, leaning back heavily into her chair. She pulled out a cigarette, lighting it and closing her eyes as she took the first drag. I hated the smell and when she smoked in the packhouse, but I let it go, hopeful I was about to get more information now. “Lawrence challenged him for the Alpha title, but he also wanted to take everything away from him. He added that he wanted me if he won, too. You know how your fath- Lawrence is. He won’t stop until he has everything he decides is his.”

“So, he won the Alpha challenge and just took you?” I asked. This sounded insane. Why would anyone allow their fated mate to be taken? I hadn’t even come of age to know yet, but I couldn’t imagine someone trying to take Quinn from me now, let alone if the bond was fully formed.

She nodded, a cloud of smoke forming above her as she let it escape both sides of her mouth before taking another drag, “Lawrence is my ‘chosen’ mate. I didn’t necessarily have much choice, but you get what I mean.”

“Is Tyler-”

“Yes, he’s Lawrence’s. He’s still your brother, so don’t get it into your head that he isn’t.”

“That’s not what I’m saying…”

“I’m just making sure you understand. You’re going to need each other someday,” she said, putting out the butt in her hand into the ashtray on the desk and lighting up another one.

“So…” I was at a loss here. If my dad was challenged and lost, that must mean he was gone now. I was hoping to find him, but it looked like it wasn’t an option. “He’s dead then?”

“Uh, actually no, he’s still alive. I believe him to be at least.”

“What? How?” I asked, baffled at how that was possible. Lawrence was not the kind to let someone live; it wasn’t common that a dethroned Alpha walked away alive from a challenge for his title. I couldn’t see Lawrence making an allowance.

“I told him that if he spared Melvin’s life, I would become his chosen mate willingly. I wouldn’t fight it, and I would support him as Alpha. Melvin was going to die, and it was the only thing I could think to do to save him.”

“Where is he now?” I asked, not sure if she’d tell me.

“He was exiled from the pack, and everyone was forbidden to talk about him ever again,” she explained. “I have an idea of where he is, but I don’t know for sure. I couldn’t honestly tell you if he’d even want to be found. He has stayed in hiding all these years.”

“What kind of man wouldn’t want their son to find them?” I asked quietly. It escaped my lips before I’d fully had the thought. I’d never wanted kids because of my home life, but that didn’t mean I wasn’t jealous of other kids who had a real relationship with their dad. When I saw people laughing and joking or spending time with their dads, I’d always felt hollow. Now, I found out that the monster I lived with wasn’t my father, but my real one had been hiding from me all this time. How could he stay away my whole life? Why didn’t he want to know?

“A broken one,” she concluded. “If he’s willing to talk to us, you can ask him. Just… you know Lawrence. You know Lawrence. Do you think that he challenged someone to a fight and wasn’t prepared to do anything to make sure he won on every level? It’s just who he is.”

“That’s why he doesn’t like that I wrestle, and he does everything he can to keep me from real combat training, isn’t it? He didn’t want me to be able to challenge him if I found out.” The pieces of my life were falling into place, and the things I never understood before were beginning to come into a new light.

She shook her head yes again in affirmation. Picking up the birth certificate, it looked like she was looking through it into a different time, “I knew Mema had this made, but she told me she destroyed it when I asked her to. She never accepted your- Lawrence as Alpha or that he’d become my mate by force. She always wanted to tell you.”

I could see that. Mema never hid her hatred for Lawrence, but I just thought it was because of how he treated us.

“I’m glad she did,” was all I could think to say in return. “I want to meet him.”

“Of course you do,” she frowned. She kept her eyes on the paper, saying nothing more. Finally, she set it down and brought her eyes up to mine again. “I want you to take a minute to think about all of this. You’re smart, Michael, so really consider the consequences of everything before you make any demands of me.”

“I don’t need to think about it,” I said as I turned on my heel and headed to the door.

“I love you, Michael,” my mom said, stopping me as I gripped the doorknob. “I loved your father, too. I did everything I had to to keep you safe and alive. I hope one day you can see that.”

I left her office and stormed out of the packhouse. I was shifting in a couple of strides, my clothes tearing to shreds as I took off into the trees. I needed to breathe; I needed space. I wanted Quinn, but I already got her in trouble with my selfishness. I ran and ran, seeking relief from the catastrophic realization that I wasn’t the person I thought I was. Eros remained silent in my head.