In Love With My Boyfriend’s Brother

Lucy is right, Matt is certainly moving on and I should do the same. Even though I don’t feel like doing it at the moment. It’s Friday, I put on jeans and a t-shirt and some makeup to cover up the dark circles under my eyes from a bad night’s sleep, which is all I have on my face lately. Because after I dream about… aff… Yan, I don’t want to sleep anymore, and I can’t. I don’t go to a bar or a pub or a restaurant. I don’t go to a bar or some club, I just go for a walk, because I’m tired of being alone on Friday nights like this. And saying that reminds me of someone… Damn it, I curse myself mentally for thinking about him again. As I walk near a square that is a few blocks away from my building, I feel a cold wind coming towards me, making me cross my arms look down for a moment, and think a little about my own miserable lonely life. When I raise my eyes again, I see a guy stop his skateboard a few inches away from me, look at me, and smile in surprise. I am surprised too. But in a way, it’s a surprise I like. I ask: ”Are you by any chance following me?” He smiles, even more, surprised by my question, and says: ”No, but I swear I wish I had thought of it.” I end up laughing. He says: ”Well, since we’ve bumped into each other almost twice, I think it’s about time we introduced ourselves.” He holds out his hand and says: ”I’m Simon.” ”Skylar. Sky.” ”Right, SkylarSky.” I end up laughing again. He adds: ”You look to me like you could use some ice cream. Would you like some ice cream?” I look at him trying to understand why he would assume this, but he continues: ”Well, I can’t ask you out on a date, because I’m sure you have a boyfriend.” I end up with a dull smile now. He closes his eyes for a moment and says fixing his cap with the brim back as if somehow it’s not the right way anymore. ”Actually, I know you have a boyfriend.” I look up in surprise and he continues: ”You’re dating Yan’s brother, aren’t you?” Damn, did he have to ruin whatever was going on here by mentioning the name of the one person I don’t want to think about at the moment? Even here, Yan? But even though I don’t want to do that, I question: ”Do you know Yan?” He looks a little dull now, but says, “Yes: ”Yes, I mean, no. Actually, we just hang out at the same skate park. But I haven’t seen him there anymore.” At least he doesn’t know what happened. I interrupt: ”I’m not dating his brother anymore.” Somehow he seems to like hearing that. I continue: ”And… I’ll take the ice cream.” He smiles even more after hearing me say this. We are sitting in the ice-cream parlor. I like his eyes because it matches his white skin and the strands of straight black hair that stick out of the sides of his cap, he looks like one of those actors from the TV series I used to watch as a teenager. He is funny, very cute to tell you the truth. He can’t be more than twenty years old and I find myself wondering when I decided to have this thing for young boys. He tells me about his college course and a little about himself. I like listening more than talking. Listening to him makes me forget a little about my life and how dull it has been lately. He also says that he lives nearby, so we leave the ice cream parlor and walk around a bit before I go home. The funny thing is that I don’t want to go home, everything is quiet and lonely there and it doesn’t make me feel good at all. ”You should try skateboarding.” He looks at me to see my reaction. I end up laughing and say: ”I already tried to teach myself once.” Then I think of Yan again tonight, even though I don’t even make an effort to. Shit, Sky. He questions: ”So what?”

I just answer: ”So it didn’t work out so well.” He laughs, I end up smiling too. I go to try to change the subject, but when I open my mouth he says first: ”I live over there.” He points to a corner and I see a door on the side of that narrow street. He walks on. I follow him, not sure why. After a few steps, we are standing in front of his door. He steps on his skateboard and holds it propped up on the ground with one hand. He is about to say something, and I walk over to him and kiss his mouth. He looks surprised for a moment. But soon he is kissing me back. He is leaning against the wall and I guess I wasn’t thinking very well when I started to kiss him. So I quickly pull away. I’m too embarrassed to look him in the eye, so I don’t do that. But he just says: ”Wow. Well…” I interrupt him: ”I’m sorry, Simon…” I run my hands over my eyes for a moment and continue: ”I guess I was just in need of… physical… human… contact.” This is a stupid thing to say, and I regret it as soon as I finish speaking. But he laughs, and laughs graciously, then says: ”Huh, all right. Do you want to come in?” I just say: ”I think I’d better go home.”

He insists: ”I can take you if you want…”Content (C) Nôv/elDra/ma.Org.

I just say: ”No, it’s right across the street, you don’t have to.” I smile so he can be comforted. He just nods. I start to follow, but turn around when he says: ”Look, when you need, I don’t know, more physical human contact, I’ll be here.” He is smiling and I just nod, he seems to enjoy what has happened. I like the way he is.