I’m Just His Wife

But Ice, my son. I couldn’t lose him. I didn’t want him to lose his mother. So no matter how many times I tried to end my life I couldn’t go on because I was thinking about him. I could only imagine that my son was crying because I was gone and it was as if my heart was being torn apart.

Roxanne, Ice and my parents were my strengths. They give me the courage to live and endure all the pain that Ivan caused.

“Shh… stay. Don’t cry anymore. He’s not worth your precious tears…” Roxanne’s voice was soft and calm like before.

After we finished crying I invited Roxanne to come home. She told me that I would stay in the condo first so I couldn’t stop. I also didn’t want to see Ivan first. I also needed to rest from the pain I felt. It’s too much, too much.

I wanted to give up but I couldn’t. Even though I loved Ivan, I could afford to leave him whenever I wanted. But I missed my son. I didn’t want him to grow up without a whole family because I once experienced that when Mom and I left Dad because of her femininity. Fortunately, they got back together when I was in high school.

I wanted to give Ice a complete family. Even if I caught all the pain, just don’t let him. he was my only child so I loved him very much.

When we arrived at Roxanne’s condo I couldn’t help but worry about Ice so I called his nanny? with the landline phone here in Roxanne’s unit.

His nanny answered just a few more rings.

“Hello?”She answered from the other line.

I sighed before speaking. ‘this was Rigella…”

I heard Nanny sigh. “Rigella,? Where were you? It’s late. Ice was looking for you. We’re worried about you…”

I was so bitten on my lip. “I’m here in Roxanne’s condo unit first. I’m not going home now…” I replied.

“Daughter, it’s better that you go home. Ivan was already at home and he’s very angry because you didn’t pick up Ice and he picked up your son…” the concern in her voice was obvious. She knew that Ivan had hurt me and that it might happen again.

“But Nanny, we talked before. I don’t want to go home now…” my tears were already welling up.

I heard Nanny gasp in the air before she answered. “Oh he’s fine, If that’s what you want. But you also go home tomorrow huh? You know Ice, he won’t go to school without seeing you…”

I smiled sparingly. “Yes, Nanny. I’ll be home early tomorrow. Please tell Ice that I love him very much. Then read him a story before going to sleep.” I ordered.

“All right, daughter. I’ll take it down first. I’ll prepare dinner for your husband and son.” She said goodbye.

“All right, Nanny. Bye.”

When the call ended, Roxanne called me to help her cook our dinner.

After we cooked we ate immediately. I actually laughed when she said that crying made me hungry earlier. When we finished eating we went to the living room and watched a Romance Movie, just like at the old times.

Some time later we heard a knock on the door. Roxanne stood up because she was the one who presented to open the door. While I’m nervous because maybe that’s what it was. It wasn’t just a knock because it looked like the door would be broken by the force of the rattle.

I was surprised when Roxanne came back immediately and I could see the nervousness on her face so I frowned at her.

She seemed to understand my expression so she answered immediately. “It’s? I-Ivan was the one outside…” she sighed after she said that made my chest throb.

***

Rigella’s POVConTEent bel0ngs to Nôv(e)lD/rama(.)Org .

“W-What?” I asked weakly.

She approached me and sat down next to me. “Ella, no matter what happens, don’t come out, okay? Don’t you ever come out…” She convinced me even though there was a trace of nervousness on her face.

Depressed, I leaned back on the sofa I was sitting on. How did she know I was here at Roxanne’s condo? Did Nanny Lisa tell him? And why was he here? Did I think he didn’t care about me?

Ivan was still knocking on the door so I was even more nervous. I also thought it was embarrassing for the people who lived here because they might be upset.

Roxanne suddenly stood up. “I’ll call the security. Just, don’t come out.” She said seriously to me and picked up her phone on the center table then stood up and walked away from me a bit.

I was blown away by the wind. I could already feel the trembling of my hands and legs. I can’t even admit I’m really scared. I’m afraid of what Ivan could do to me once he got close to me.

“RIGELLA! GET OUT OF THERE! D*MN, YOU’LL REALLY LOVE ME!” I heard Ivan shout from outside.

I felt a tear stream from my left eye, and… one after the other. I’m crying again. I always asked myself sometimes, when would my tears end? When would the pain end? When would Ivan finally love me?

But that thoughts immediately vanished when I heard what Roxanne have said while talking to someone on her phone …

“Yes… Make sure that man suffers, he doesn’t feel sorry for Ella… No, do you want me to break the law? Don’t kill-!” I cut off what she was going to say and approached her.

“W-Who were you talking to?” I asked.

She looked at me seriously and sighed. “Mafia…” She said sparingly in a cold voice.

My eyes widened and my jaw dropped. “A? what? You asked my brother for help?” I sadly said. Then I was starting to get nervous for Ivan.

She blinked and closed her eyes firmly. “Yes. Why, Rigella? You thought I believed in your excuse earlier where you got it from? No, I knew it when Ivan did that. Also, he must suffer all the pain that he did it to you. Ryan offered to help so why would I refuse? ” she asked with a raised eyebrow.

I was so bitten on my lower lip. What if… what if they kill Ivan? I couldn’t… I also don’t want to lose Ice’s father.

I sighed before speaking. “I-I’m going out…”

I saw the masculinity of Roxanne’s eyes and she held my arm. ” were you f*cking crazy? Maybe what will he do to you! Just wait for Ryan’s staff and they will save that animal.” She said again.

I shuddered and my vision was blurred with tears. “N-No… call them again. Don’t continue what you’re planning please… I feel sorry for you, Ivan was my life. It’s as if you killed me when you continue that…” I sobbed.

Roxanne pulled her hair and I saw that she was crying too. “What was it, Rigella?! That’s right oh! Don’t be too much of a martyr, okay! Just get rid of that fucker! We’re just having a hard time pretending you’re stupid!”

It was as if something had touched my heart when she shouted that at me while sobbing as she sat on the floor. She was also affected by what was happening to me. Why was life so complex? Can’t I be happy? Even just once? Even just for a moment?

“I-I’m sorry Roxy… I’m sorry, best friend…” I had a hard time speaking because of the sob. I approached her and hugged her. I was about to walk to the door when she stopped me with a grip on my arm.

“N-No… you’re not coming out. You’re just here… you’re just here!” I closed my eyes when I saw her tears. I removed her grip on my arm and wiped away her tears.

I swallowed. “I’m… I’m sorry but I love him, I love Ivan and I can’t stand if something bad happens to him-”

She cut off what I was going to say. “Even if you get hurt, was that so? Even if you get hurt again?” She stopped crying and looked at me seriously.