Chapter 224
ZAIA.
I know I should have listened to him, but I truly believed I was doing the right thing. I honestly didn’t think things would end up this bad.
The festering thoughts aren’t easing up, and I feel mentally exhausted.
“Go with him. Show Atticus his room. I’ll clean this up.” I tell Valerie gently. She’s shaken by it all, and I know she’s going through a lot. I hope she at least realises she does love him.
Everyone deserves a second chance, right?
She nods and I give her a smile, watching Atticus lift him carefully.
“You did amazingly. Now go with him.” I whisper to her.
She’s about to say something, but instead, she simply smiles and nods before she helps Atticus with Jai, supporting his head. She’s got blood in her hair and over her clothes, but like me, she has far bigger things to be concerned about.
They leave the room and my smile fades as I slowly drop into one of the chairs, my face falling. No longer able to keep the mask of strength on my face.
Everything went wrong tonight… This was not what I was expecting to happen. I wanted to make things right between the rogues and us, to prove that they were just like us… But they’re not, and the painful truth is they don’t like us and never wanted to create an alliance of peace.
Then Jai, Jai shouldn’t have gotten hurt… He almost died because of me… How many more people’s lives will I be responsible for in the war that I have created?
I’m terrified. Terrified of what I can possibly do… I killed someone with no hesitation and the most chilling part is, I know I’ll do it all over again if I have to.
I look down at my blood–covered hands. Look at the blood behind my fingernails
Who am I becoming?
Do I even recognise myself?
Is Sebastian hating what I’m becoming?
I’m pathetic, aren’t I? I wanted him to pull me into his arms and tell me it’s going to be ok… or simply just an embrace, glad that I am home, and safe. But
instead, he turned his back on me.
I place my head in my hands, brushing my hair back as I try to pull myself from my spiralling thoughts.
My eyes sting with tears but I can’t cry. There’s so much I need to do and to explain to Sebastian….
“Zaia…”
I look up when Atticus enters the room and I quickly sit up looking away as I try to compose myself.
“Hey…”
“Jai’s settled in his room. Valerie has given him something for the pain for when he wakes up. I’m going to head home.”
“No Atticus. Stay, you need rest and it’s not safe.” I say quietly.
“My men are here.” He reassures me.
They were the ones who helped us escape and stopped those wolves that refused to pledge their allegiance to me. Even the rogues had run, clearly fearing their lives.
It’s all a mess. I will have to go there and figure out how I’ll protect them.
“How many did we lose?” I ask softly.
He looks down, smiling slightly, but it’s something I realise is a reflex to hide his real emotions. “Seven.” He says softly.
There’s a sadness in his eyes and although he’s trying to act ok, I know he’s not.
“I’m so sorry,” I whisper.
Did they have families? Children? Parents?
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“It’s alright, this is war, and my pack is ready.” He kneels before me and gives my shoulder a squeeze.
“Zaia, you did what you thought was right. We all misjudge situations. You were incredible out there. I’m damn proud of you. Who would have thought the pregnant woman seeking a home in my pack would become this goddess? You are incredible, Red.”
He brushes my hair back, and I nod.
“Thank you,” I say before he stands up and takes his leave.
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