Always Been You

~Dante’s POV~

I’m in a lot of trouble! Having to work alongside Lola has been an excruciating experience. I’ve reached the point where I’m not sure if I can continue to take it anymore. I’ve tried to ignore my desire to be with her, but it’s hard to ignore what my heart desires right now. Maybe I am at fault after all. Perhaps I was the one who made it difficult for her to tell me she was pregnant. I’m not sure if I was ever unapproachable, but it could have been my fault, after all. I just can’t get over how she makes me feel. I have been riding solo to like 3–4 times daily, and it’s fucking not enough. I’m in desperate need of a regular release, but if I go looking for it anywhere else, the process will be thrown off completely. It would be the same as starting over completely from scratch. I don’t know what is going on, but one thing I know is that there is still hope for me and Lola. Even if we do end up getting a divorce, it won’t be because of any animosity between us; rather, it will be because the marriage just wasn’t a good fit for either of us. I don’t want anything wrong to happen to her, but if that jackass named Mason tries to stand in my way, I will resort to more extreme measures than simply throwing a punch. When she came back, I didn’t want her to see how much her kiss with Mason had affected me. I didn’t want her to know how deeply I felt about it. I was a mess, and she was mine, my wife. That was a hard blow to the guts. My wife kissed another man, June’s brother. There is something not quite right about them. They sent a picture to me to gauge my reaction, and when I didn’t provide one, the jerk in question decided to fly to New York City. I sighed and took a sip of my scotch. Then, my phone started to ring. I answered the phone without giving it much thought, but as soon as I did, I recognized that the person on the other end was speaking English with an Asian accent. They were my business associates. In spite of the fact that my thoughts were occupied with images of Lola’s naked body, I cleared my throat and adopted a tone that suggested I was serious about the matter at hand. When I was done with the call, I knew I was in deep shit. They want me to travel to Japan, and they want me to bring my wife with me. I must comply with their request. Lola won’t agree because she doesn’t look at me that way anymore, and I don’t want to mess it up with her; at the same time, if I asked someone else to play my wife, it wouldn’t sit well with her. I mean, she is still my wife. I waited after I heard a gentle knock at my door and then I opened it. When I heard that, I immediately knew it was one of my children.

“Good morning, Daddy!” Mai screamed as her brothers pursued her. I’m not sure why they came to see me today. However, that angelic good morning, Daddy! Is everything.

“Hey princess.” She gave a shy smile.

“So..” She smiled once more, reminding me of her mother. Mai was the most adorable child I’d ever seen. She is my girl, just like her…

Stop it, Dante, you were a dick! She’s had it with you.

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“So,” I said as I mimicked her.

“We would like to go to the amusement park with you and mom; please don’t say no, Dad.” Tyler chimed in.

“An amusement park; have you talked to your mom about it?” They all shook their heads. They wanted me to talk to Lola about going to an amusement park. How the fuck am I going to talk to her without getting a boner and ending up riding solo?

Shit!

“How about you guys inviting your mom? I mean, Daddy is busy with some work.”

“What am I being invited to?” Lola asked as she got into my study, holding a file project. I am so glad she is here because Lola knows how the Asian market works.

“We were wondering if mommy could join us for pizza?” Kai answered, and I froze. When did they begin to lie? They said amusement park just now; now it’s pizza.

“Please, mommy, don’t say no.” Mai pleaded.

“Okay kids, we will go have pizza tonight. Do you guys mind if I talk to your dad?” she said, and they all smiled as they walked away, the boys winking at me.

What was that all about?

I turned my attention to the woman in front of me, and it appeared as though she was making an effort to keep some distance from me. But why is that? She handed the file over to me.

“I went through every page, and I’m confident they will love it. But that’s not the only reason I am here.” I cocked my brow at her. “I am fully aware that you had a lot on your plate with the project and everything else that went along with it, but let’s not lose sight of the fact that this is not the primary motivation for my return. I would really appreciate it if you could sign the divorce papers.” She is still there; how the fuck am I supposed to put off dealing with this situation if she believes that I was involved in whatever transpired at Elvis’s house? She is still hurt and mad, but she is just done. If she is, I don’t blame her.

“I haven’t been able to deal with the divorce because I haven’t had time. Would it be too much trouble for you to hold off until I figure this out?” I said, and I could see she was not happy, but why? Does she have a boyfriend now?

“Since we have some extra time on our hands at the moment, I won’t mind if I sit here with you while you go over it.” She is done.

“Look, Lola, I have a lot of things running through my head right now, and the last thing I need is to talk about this stupid divorce.” I did not intend to lose my cool; it was a spontaneous reaction.

“Stupid, divorce?” She spoke louder than before. “You say it’s stupid; does that mean you think my freedom is stupid? I got up from my seat and walked over to her, quickly covering her mouth with my palm from behind as I did so because the children might be nearby.

Wrong move, wrong fucking move, because I immediately got a boner. Fuck! Despite the fact that my cock was pressing against her jeans, I had no choice but to talk to her. “Look, I know that the fact that I haven’t signed the divorce papers has caused a lot of tension between us. I have had a lot going on recently. The divorce will be finalized with my signature soon. I just had the idea that we could release the tension that had been building up between us and part ways amicably rather than in shards. I just want to know more about the kids and what they were like. It hurts like fuck to hear everything when I was supposed to be there. I am trying here, Lola. I’m sick of all these cats and rats squabbling with you. I am tired of it. I just want to know everything. I’m desperate for closure, damn it!”

“What closure? Are you talking about this?” She yelled as she turned back and started pointing at my hard as fuck dick. I forced a hard swallow. She has no idea that I haven’t fucked a soul since I met her in Ozark. She sees me as this pussy, hungry man, and my dick isn’t helping matters.

“I know this is inappropriate. But you have to realize that I am a man with needs-needs that I am attempting to repress because I have made such a mess of my life and it is entirely my fault. I fucked up, okay? I did, and I am not signing those divorce papers when you and I are like this, Lola.”

“You want me to stick around so you can get into my skirt?”

“What?” I went completely still. Yes, I want her. If all I wanted was to get into her skirts, I could have done it the first time I got a boner.

“You have been getting a wood every time I’m around, staring at my ass as though it’s one fine piece of art. And you still want me to remain under the same roof as you?”

“That’s because no one else comes close to how you make me feel, Lola. And I have no idea if I will sign those damn divorce papers if I’ll ever find someone who will give me a boner without even trying. We fucked up, Lola. You fucking ran away, and I was busy fighting what my heart wanted; the day I wanted to tell you everything was the day you ran.”

“Tell me what?”

“Tell you that, it was never Candice. I was with her because I was scared you wouldn’t look at me the same way. I was concerned that you had been reading too much about my most recent affairs in the newspapers and magazines, or possibly watching too much television about my life as a womanizer. I thought you had given up on us. I will never forget my promise, Lola. I was just scared that you might have seen enough to make you forget everything about us. One of the fucking reasons, when you were of age I didn’t say anything. I said I would wait for you to become a woman, but by the time you did, I was already rotten, and I felt sick coming back to you because you were this innocent girl, and I had been hurting all over again. I didn’t know you were waiting for me. The only time I knew was the night of our wedding, and I felt like shit! I didn’t know what to do, and I ended up saying things that hurt you. Never in a million years, was it Candice, Lola. It has always been you.”

She retreated a few paces while wiping away the tears that were forming in her eyes. “No, that’s not true. You didn’t want me.” I took a few steps towards her and stood right in front of her with my stupid cock, making matters worse for me. She will definitely think it’s my cock talking, not me. “It’s always been you.” I maintained eye contact with her.

“Then prove it!” She said as she walked out of my study, and right now I am going to be wooing after Mrs. Monroe!